It was long it was tough and the conditions were brutally cold. Oh that was the 2hr wait for the start. Won't bore you with details. So wake up. There was Tesso,tuttle, blue dog, horrie, spud, miners and gogirl,etc, etc.... And some hack Cool Runners on the other side of the Berlin Wall pretending they can run fast. Apparently they could going on the stories I heard at the finish. Maybe they had drunk a six pack each by the time I waddled across the finish line. Tell him he's dreaming.
Well, cold and plantar and me raced the City 2 Surf on Sunday. It was fun for all 3 of us. My foot just loved the concrete, and the lungs loved that fresh voltaren gel and vaso air they were taking in, and I was there just for the hell of it.
Some would say. You fool you can't run. Since Lardy is leaving the country I've taken up the mantle. Racing 7 kgs overweight is not a good look. Why were all the good looking girls running faster than me during the race. Damn those chocy tim tams.
Yes there was a race in all of this. The trick was to convince the lungs that the effort I put in was reasonable so don't clog up so I can still breath. A bit quick up the Highway to hell leading to the Cross tunnel and I was coughing up a lung while helping the drought as soon as I saw daylight on the otherside. Maintained a steady pace of lardy proportions. When I arrived at the Sheaf the band played 'enter Sandman'. I felt like knocking back a schewie of New and continuing. Damn no money.
At the bottom of next in line for heartbreak hill. Surely a song on Tesso's 5 million song ipod. I spyed a young female so entranced by my tim tam gut she broke 2 min ks to be with me from the back of the pack group. Tis love I tell ya. Bloody queue jumpers.
The dodgy 7/7.2k was met in 40:10(5:44/k). A cause for celebration as I was only twice as slow as Monners record.
At last my favourite part of the race. Oh not quite. Still more of heartbreak to finish and then turn at the dead centre of Dover Heights to run home. I perked up, the lungs were talking to me, go faster Paulie. So I did. I reached 11k in 62:30. A quick 5:35 per klm. What a speed increase? Ha! A whole 9 secs per k faster. Motorised zimmer frames move quicker. And I think I saw one pass me. Either that or the non watered down gatorade had given me sugar overload.
The 11k was upon me and in my new lofty weight proportion. That means fat, I rolled downhill taking out dogs and small children as I barrelled past the golf course and shops of North Bondi. A hasty high five from the cheer squad and I sprinted for home. Damn I forgot 1k left. I ground to a fast jog at the Campbell Parade lights as the beer queue for the Bondi hotel was getting my attention. I turned the corner and spied 75. Wholly crap run flake run.
I bounced across the line. Well parts of me were. I think my lungs were thankful I stopped.
A huge 18mins worse than last year. Finished in 75:49. Did the last 3 k in 13:39. And the last 7k in 35:39. Go the negative split.
I had fun! It was ugly, it was slow, I was wheezing for air for half the race. But I got through my first race in four months. So I'm happy. Thanks to the Striders for the post race drinks and fruit. Superb. Sorry I couldn't stay for beers. But after 14ks of concrete my feet were really hurting.
Well, cold and plantar and me raced the City 2 Surf on Sunday. It was fun for all 3 of us. My foot just loved the concrete, and the lungs loved that fresh voltaren gel and vaso air they were taking in, and I was there just for the hell of it.
Some would say. You fool you can't run. Since Lardy is leaving the country I've taken up the mantle. Racing 7 kgs overweight is not a good look. Why were all the good looking girls running faster than me during the race. Damn those chocy tim tams.
Yes there was a race in all of this. The trick was to convince the lungs that the effort I put in was reasonable so don't clog up so I can still breath. A bit quick up the Highway to hell leading to the Cross tunnel and I was coughing up a lung while helping the drought as soon as I saw daylight on the otherside. Maintained a steady pace of lardy proportions. When I arrived at the Sheaf the band played 'enter Sandman'. I felt like knocking back a schewie of New and continuing. Damn no money.
At the bottom of next in line for heartbreak hill. Surely a song on Tesso's 5 million song ipod. I spyed a young female so entranced by my tim tam gut she broke 2 min ks to be with me from the back of the pack group. Tis love I tell ya. Bloody queue jumpers.
The dodgy 7/7.2k was met in 40:10(5:44/k). A cause for celebration as I was only twice as slow as Monners record.
At last my favourite part of the race. Oh not quite. Still more of heartbreak to finish and then turn at the dead centre of Dover Heights to run home. I perked up, the lungs were talking to me, go faster Paulie. So I did. I reached 11k in 62:30. A quick 5:35 per klm. What a speed increase? Ha! A whole 9 secs per k faster. Motorised zimmer frames move quicker. And I think I saw one pass me. Either that or the non watered down gatorade had given me sugar overload.
The 11k was upon me and in my new lofty weight proportion. That means fat, I rolled downhill taking out dogs and small children as I barrelled past the golf course and shops of North Bondi. A hasty high five from the cheer squad and I sprinted for home. Damn I forgot 1k left. I ground to a fast jog at the Campbell Parade lights as the beer queue for the Bondi hotel was getting my attention. I turned the corner and spied 75. Wholly crap run flake run.
I bounced across the line. Well parts of me were. I think my lungs were thankful I stopped.
A huge 18mins worse than last year. Finished in 75:49. Did the last 3 k in 13:39. And the last 7k in 35:39. Go the negative split.
I had fun! It was ugly, it was slow, I was wheezing for air for half the race. But I got through my first race in four months. So I'm happy. Thanks to the Striders for the post race drinks and fruit. Superb. Sorry I couldn't stay for beers. But after 14ks of concrete my feet were really hurting.
12 comments:
Mate, I hope this is a sign you are on the come back trail.
Good stuff - still take it easy.
Plu
Mate, love this post! It's Pulitzer prize winning stuff! Keep it up....
That post is worthy of inclusion in The Blister.
That was "War and Peace" compared to your normal posts! I had to take a Tim-Tam break half way through.
Glad you survived. Sub-76 should keep you in A1 for next year.
Great to know you got out there and persevered through the whole experience. It can only get better than that!!!
Hope you are loosening up by now.
Too funny Flakey! If its any consolation your 'crap race' write-ups are far more entertaining than your PB ones. Still, lets hope that's the last of them (the crap ones that is).
7kg overweight ... had I known that I wouldn't have offered you a chocolate coated snake ;)
Sorry I didn't see you at the end. Actually, I thought you were in front of me the whole way.
Classic Flake, loved the report. Good to see you getting to the start line and finishing mate, onwards and upwards.
good to see you racing again mate. It all has to re-start somewhere!
You can eat all the tim tams you want if you run 100km a week. You are better off in the middle of the pack if you want to chase pretty girls. the ones up the front are all scrawny.
Good tip Glenda. That's why I stay in the middle of the pack, rather than up the front.
Great to see you back out there Flake. I know how tough it was for you. It can only get better from here.
Post a Comment